Sunday, October 12, 2008
TV
I'm watching this show Brothers and Sisters. This shit is awful and I keep staring at Sally Field's goiter. Is that a side effect of Boniva?
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Radio silence, so this may ramble.
Your life is now complete - I'm back after a hiatus.
Saturday I went to the UGA game. The frightening thing wasn't being down 0-31 in the first half, or a guy taking a piss on the tree right next to me. No, the scariest part of being in Athens on a gameday were the "Dawgs for McCain" stickers everyone was wearing. And when I say everyone, I mean literally thousands upon thousands of people. Support for a candidate is great, but the Blackout ended up being completely red. I saw literally 2 Obama stickers. I did, however, see a "Nobama" sign. No mention of UGA or football. Just Nobama, which I at first thought was "No 'Bama" since we were playing Alabama. Oddly, not a mention of Palin anywhere.
Last night I went to a birthday party in East Atlanta, which was the polar opposite of a UGA game. It was the ultimate in hipster irony. There was a bouncy castle and hula-hoops. Also - and this seems to be mark of hipster fashion - ill fitting clothes. High waisted red seersucker shorts over tights with suspenders. Skinny jeans on not skinny people. Haircut via food processor.
Work is going well. All you people who bank at Wachovia or WaMu should come see me. Get your money out.
This I love: make a donation to Planned Parenthood in the name of Sarah Palin. She'll even receive a card.
Saturday I went to the UGA game. The frightening thing wasn't being down 0-31 in the first half, or a guy taking a piss on the tree right next to me. No, the scariest part of being in Athens on a gameday were the "Dawgs for McCain" stickers everyone was wearing. And when I say everyone, I mean literally thousands upon thousands of people. Support for a candidate is great, but the Blackout ended up being completely red. I saw literally 2 Obama stickers. I did, however, see a "Nobama" sign. No mention of UGA or football. Just Nobama, which I at first thought was "No 'Bama" since we were playing Alabama. Oddly, not a mention of Palin anywhere.
Last night I went to a birthday party in East Atlanta, which was the polar opposite of a UGA game. It was the ultimate in hipster irony. There was a bouncy castle and hula-hoops. Also - and this seems to be mark of hipster fashion - ill fitting clothes. High waisted red seersucker shorts over tights with suspenders. Skinny jeans on not skinny people. Haircut via food processor.
Work is going well. All you people who bank at Wachovia or WaMu should come see me. Get your money out.
This I love: make a donation to Planned Parenthood in the name of Sarah Palin. She'll even receive a card.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
She makes up for her lack of experience with humor. Or at least looking like funny people.
I'm not sure how I feel about Sarah Palin, but she does look like a strange mixture of Megan Mullally and Tina Fey, which isn't a bad thing. However, the upswept French twist and horrible accent... now those, those are awful.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I end up in the strangest places.
On Thursday I went out with Emmi, Hugh and Adam. We decided to go to downtown Atlanta. The weird thing about downtown is that it's the Atlanta that you get to know when you're a kid or if you're a visitor from out of town. It's not where anyone local actually hangs out. We went to all of the hotel bars and rode the elevators. We kept commenting that we felt like we were in a city we'd never been to before. We also went to the Metro Cafe Diner, which has to be one of the most bizarre places in Atlanta. They have karaoke there every single night of the week. With neon lights, fake marble and mirrors everywhere, it has the look and feel of a strip club, but there are no naked people. Just sad karaoke and something called "puddings" ($1.95!) under the dessert section. No flavors, just various puddings. Don't ask for a certain flavor, because you're getting whatever they have. You're requests for vanilla or chocolate will go unheeded.
On Friday night, I went to a Bautizo for the kid of one of the cooks at Sage. He doesn't speak perfect English and I certainly don't know Spanish, so I had no idea what he was inviting me to. I figured out his kid was turning 3 years old and that delicious Mexican food was going to be served. He wrote down directions for me ("The banket hall on LaVeesta") and that was that. He also told me not to worry about security because he told them to let all Americans in, even if they don't have a ticket. For some reason, the words "security" and "ticket" associated with a 3 year old's Bautizo (this has become my new favorite word) didn't really register as anything out of the ordinary for me.
I had to work late on Friday night so I was worried I'd get there at the tail end of the party. Oh, was I wrong. I circled the parking lot looking for a spot. I couldn't help but notice that there was a car with North Carolina tags and a couple of cars from Florida. I parked and saw some of the kitchen guys from work outside of the banquet hall. I stood outside and talked to them for a minute and glanced inside. There were tables set up, but there weren't very many people sitting at them. I walked inside and it looked like a war zone. There were kids passed out all over the place. And the reason the tables looked empty is because everyone was on the dance floor. There were at least 200-250 people there.
Each table had a couple of bottles of tequila and a bus tub full of Modelo Especial beer. Everytime the tequila or beer would get low, more would magically appear. I went out to the dance floor (there was no sitting down) and noticed the prettiest woman balancing a bottle of tequila on her head and forcing everyone she ran into to take a shot. She was wearing this hot pink mini-dress and had the most amazing legs. She came up to me and I noticed the slightly broad shoulders and the well-defined Adam's Apple, plus the lack of hips. So maybe she wasn't a she in the traditional sense, but yay - free tequila!
The rest of the night was a blur. I did get to meet Christiano, ostensibly the kid the party was for. Cute kid, but seemed really confused by the band and the girl throwing up on the carpet.
So now I'm thinking of having a Bautizo for my birthday party. Maybe for my 30th. I may have to become a Catholic or something, but big deal. If you get the chance to go to an actual Bautizo, you should go, no questions asked. It was the best party I've been to in a long time.
On Friday night, I went to a Bautizo for the kid of one of the cooks at Sage. He doesn't speak perfect English and I certainly don't know Spanish, so I had no idea what he was inviting me to. I figured out his kid was turning 3 years old and that delicious Mexican food was going to be served. He wrote down directions for me ("The banket hall on LaVeesta") and that was that. He also told me not to worry about security because he told them to let all Americans in, even if they don't have a ticket. For some reason, the words "security" and "ticket" associated with a 3 year old's Bautizo (this has become my new favorite word) didn't really register as anything out of the ordinary for me.
I had to work late on Friday night so I was worried I'd get there at the tail end of the party. Oh, was I wrong. I circled the parking lot looking for a spot. I couldn't help but notice that there was a car with North Carolina tags and a couple of cars from Florida. I parked and saw some of the kitchen guys from work outside of the banquet hall. I stood outside and talked to them for a minute and glanced inside. There were tables set up, but there weren't very many people sitting at them. I walked inside and it looked like a war zone. There were kids passed out all over the place. And the reason the tables looked empty is because everyone was on the dance floor. There were at least 200-250 people there.
Each table had a couple of bottles of tequila and a bus tub full of Modelo Especial beer. Everytime the tequila or beer would get low, more would magically appear. I went out to the dance floor (there was no sitting down) and noticed the prettiest woman balancing a bottle of tequila on her head and forcing everyone she ran into to take a shot. She was wearing this hot pink mini-dress and had the most amazing legs. She came up to me and I noticed the slightly broad shoulders and the well-defined Adam's Apple, plus the lack of hips. So maybe she wasn't a she in the traditional sense, but yay - free tequila!
The rest of the night was a blur. I did get to meet Christiano, ostensibly the kid the party was for. Cute kid, but seemed really confused by the band and the girl throwing up on the carpet.
So now I'm thinking of having a Bautizo for my birthday party. Maybe for my 30th. I may have to become a Catholic or something, but big deal. If you get the chance to go to an actual Bautizo, you should go, no questions asked. It was the best party I've been to in a long time.
Friday, August 22, 2008
The classic hamburger.
A girl I work with is pregnant and is about to find out the sex of the child. She told me the most widely accepted method of determining if it's a girl is to look for the "classic hamburger" in the ultrasound, which somehow translates to a vagina. I don't quite know why, but I don't like that.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
How to get a job.
One day I was at my bank making a deposit and the branch manager asked me, "So when are you going to come work for us?"
"Well, whenever you give me a job."
"Here, take my card, apply online and use me as a referral." And so that's exactly what I did.
Right before I left for St. George Island, the HR person called me to set up an interview, but it was during the time I was at the beach. She told me the position would probably still be open when I got back and to call her when I returned. I did that, and found out the position was already filled. Damn. To make matters worse, I didn't have cell phone service at the beach and I got a voicemail from a different branch manager trying to schedule an interview. I called him as soon as I got home and the first phrase out of his mouth was, "If only you'd called earlier..." Damn again.
I hated the beach there for a little while.
About a month went by and I didn't hear anything, so I figured I'd missed my chance. I'd resigned myself to a life of slinging calamari and getting people drunk. Then I got another call from HR to set up two interviews, one for a teller position and the other for a Financial Services Specialist position. I went to both interviews and I guess they went well. I got called back for a second interview for the FSS position. That was on Monday. Today I found out I got the job.
The HR lady was saying these strange things on the phone, like "salary" and "benefits package" and "move up within the company quickly". I start September 2. Wow, a real job. Weird...
This thing just sort of fell into my lap. My bank doesn't have a drive-thru, so I have to go in to make deposits. And because I'm a server, I go to the bank 2 or 3 times a week. I got to know everyone there really well. So really, it was just dumb luck and being in the right place at the right time.
"Well, whenever you give me a job."
"Here, take my card, apply online and use me as a referral." And so that's exactly what I did.
Right before I left for St. George Island, the HR person called me to set up an interview, but it was during the time I was at the beach. She told me the position would probably still be open when I got back and to call her when I returned. I did that, and found out the position was already filled. Damn. To make matters worse, I didn't have cell phone service at the beach and I got a voicemail from a different branch manager trying to schedule an interview. I called him as soon as I got home and the first phrase out of his mouth was, "If only you'd called earlier..." Damn again.
I hated the beach there for a little while.
About a month went by and I didn't hear anything, so I figured I'd missed my chance. I'd resigned myself to a life of slinging calamari and getting people drunk. Then I got another call from HR to set up two interviews, one for a teller position and the other for a Financial Services Specialist position. I went to both interviews and I guess they went well. I got called back for a second interview for the FSS position. That was on Monday. Today I found out I got the job.
The HR lady was saying these strange things on the phone, like "salary" and "benefits package" and "move up within the company quickly". I start September 2. Wow, a real job. Weird...
This thing just sort of fell into my lap. My bank doesn't have a drive-thru, so I have to go in to make deposits. And because I'm a server, I go to the bank 2 or 3 times a week. I got to know everyone there really well. So really, it was just dumb luck and being in the right place at the right time.
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